I’ve been trying to catch up with my programming project works this week. I’ve felt plenty of pressure, and a few setbacks…….. they ate close to two days, to add to the previous delay. However to my surprise, at home in my free time, I felt more peaceful. (well, perhaps a slight guilt, knowing that peers without a family would probably be pulling all-nighters in my situation.)
Because of the setbacks, I took my time to read a few articles to be able to move forward at least somehow. After that, I was suddenly inspired to sketch a plan on how to proceed with my research, programming side. That was something that I knew had to be done, and that had bothered me for weeks. Then while explaining another idea to a peer PhD student, I found myself explaining how I will proceed with my research, and heard them saying “that sounds sensible”. Now I’m trying to remember what I actually said – I didn’t know the plan was so clear in my head.
I’m starting to believe things get rough just when they are cooking in your head and moments before everything appears clear! If only I knew those plans were in me, I would have felt much less pressure this week no doubt. It is funny to notice what “inspiration” actually was: working on something totally else for a while lets the most important thoughts to flow from you more freely. What I like tremendously about this PhD process is the way I am finding myself; who I am, how I react to situations, where I am effectual, where I am not as effectual as I hope to be. And it is also nice to notice from time to time, that all-nighters aren’t actually always needed. Relaxation is.